Too big for my britches
I don't know about you, but as a kid I had a belief that I could do anything... even miraculous things. I so resonated with that commercial where the little kid dresses like Darth Vader, thinking that he can magically open doors (but really, they're just the automatic ones). I love this about kids. They haven't had the wind knocked out of them, or broken any bones yet... they haven't been told they couldn't do things and so they charge into life with excitement and vigor.
My dad used to frequently tell me that I was notoriously "too big for my own britches"... I had no idea or concept that I couldn't do absolutely anything that anyone else around me could do. It didn't matter how little I was, or how uneducated, or inexperienced I may have been. I remember one time he let me play on our church competitive softball team with all the dads. I was seven. Honestly, kudos to him for empowering me (that's a major testament to the kind of man he is)... but my mind couldn't fathom why on earth they thought they should move up-field for me when it came time for me to go to bat. I was under the impression that I could do whatever my Dad did! I was fully expecting to hit a home run. I didn't. But I did get myself on base a few times!
Sometimes it worked out, and sometimes... not so much. One time, specifically, I remember watching a cartoon where one of the characters slid down the bannister on his feet. I thought to myself... "that looks fun. I can totally do that!" So of course I did what any logical self-respecting kid would do... tried it for myself! Of course, I wasn't thinking about the fact that not all bannisters are the same, and that the ones that are up against a wall with a tiny 3 inch wide hand rail were VERY different from much wider, freestanding ones the one I saw in the cartoon. I’m sure you can guess how that ended up... 2 flights of stairs and a broken collarbone later, I had my first big wakeup call! This strange affliction followed me all the way into my teen years, and shockingly, there were quite times it worked out pretty well in my favor.
But somewhere along the way, as an adult, I went the opposite direction. I suppose this happens to a lot of us. Whether we experience something traumatic like a devastating loss like a breakup or financial devastation, or maybe a disappointment so stark that it shattered your hope... many of us translated that into the idea that taking risks, isn't worth it. That somehow we would be safe from experiencing that kind of pain again. Personally, I had some truly deeply disappointing experiences...the kind that are much more serious than just failing at sports or stunts. The kind that cut deep into your soul, and make you question who you think you are to dream big dreams or hope for better things.
Although everyone has to learn by trial and error, but God’s intent was never for us to stop taking risks at the first sight of difficulty. The goal is always for us to learn and grow, not fail and quit. So my hope is really for us to re-frame how we see failure. To not just see failure as an ending or an identity, but as something much more positive like a stepping stone... or a dumbbell for building muscle.
All throughout scripture there are stories of how God desired to show grace and mercy when His people were humble enough to admit when they got in to situations where they might've been a little too big for their britches. . I think of Elijah who had his highest high of all time, but the moment Jezebel threatened him, he ran away. I can't say I can't relate. When I feel embarrassed or humiliated, my first response is to run. But luckily, God was patient enough to see that he was simply in the middle of a "fainting fit." God knew there was more in him, and graciously gave him what he really needed... a nap and a snack!
1 Kings 19: 4-8 "4 But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” 5 And he lay down and slept under a broom tree. And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, “Arise and eat.” 6 And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. And he ate and drank and lay down again. 7 And the angel of the Lord came again a second time and touched him and said, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.” 8 And he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mount of God."
Once God restored him, he brought him help and gave him a powerful message. He was never intended to stay hidden, but to keep going and keep building for the future. To keep taking risks and being bold with his life. Maybe when we're feeling super low, what we really need is as simple as a nap and a snack... or a good meal... or a treat to give us a little joy and rest to get us to the point where we can continue the road marked out ahead of us. Maybe for some of us, there more to do there. That's why I'm here.
My goal is to help others heal so that they can get back up again and do what they were really put on this earth to do, and enjoy it in the process. I want to encourage you to get back in the habit of risking as much as you did when you were a kid once more. It's ok to fall down as long as you don't stay down, making your pit your forever home.
God has a HOPE and a FUTURE for us, and it doesn’t end because of one little, or even one HUGE setback. Or even one hundred huge set-backs. If there's breath in your lungs, God's not done with you yet. So, what have you got to gain? Let's be experts at risking until we get it right. Sometimes you have to take a moment to remind yourself WHOSE you are. When you know the God who’s living inside of you, risking doesn’t seem so risky.
Romans 8:28 (NLT) " And we know that God causes everything to work together[m]for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."
