Profound Forgiveness: Through the Eyes of a Child
15 years ago when my kids were still little, they taught me a lesson I'll remember for the rest of my life. There's depth to be found in the simplicity and purity of a child.
As a parent, it seems that I am endlessly repeating myself to my kids... lesson after lesson, there are days I wonder if my kids will ever really get what I am saying. Still, I love them enough to stick to the goal and to continue repeating myself. However, I wasn't prepared for how many lessons they had to teach me. One that comes to mind is a true lesson about love, undefiled.
Christians talk about love all the time, but sometimes it all feels a bit... sugary and overly simplistic. Be "nice" to others. Hug your family. Show a smile. Sometimes, we try to dress up love in pretty little phrases or acts that (actually) cost us nothing.
What about showing love? How do we show love for our neighbor in a tangible way? Some say it's as simple as sharing a smile. Others show love by donating something that's gone out of style. Those things are great. But real love... the kind Jesus talks about, isn’t that easy- and when push comes to shove, forcing a smile isn't going to solve your problem. It’s so much harder than that... messier, uglier, and it downright costs us. A lot.
I remember one day, one of my daughters came home from first grade. She was in tears because she was being bullied at school. As a mom, my gut reaction went straight into “protect and preserve mode.” You momma bears know what I’m talking about... the moment you begin rehearsing in your mind what you’ll say to that kid and their mom... you're ready to grab your brass knuckles and ride at dawn! I mean, I'm joking of course. But, when your kid is hurting, it's hard to shake. "Loving others" in that moment feels like an impossible task. I felt helpless, angry. So I did the only thing I knew how to do. I prayed and asked for God to help.
Jesus in all His kindness never leaves me hanging. And He also never misses an opportunity to teach me. I always go in thinking it's about me, but He quickly reminds me of the bigger picture. That day, I felt a holy nudge in my heart...“Natalie... be careful. As much as you love YOUR kids, those kids are MY kids too. Every single one of my kids is special, and I value them. I didn’t ask you to love the ones who were easy to love; I asked you to love everyone, especially the ones who hurt you!”
In that moment I remembered Matt. 5:43-45: “You have heard the law that says ‘love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven...”
Ouch. As hard as it was for me to forgive, I knew I needed to teach my children that God’s way is best... I had to share it with them as well. I explained to them that when someone in our life hurts us, it’s most likely because that person is hurting inside. Maybe they had a hard day, or someone said something mean to them. Jesus says we are to love EVERYONE, even the ones who hurt us! I explained that maybe if we did something nice for those kids, it would make their day,and that might just be what they needed to be kind.
I always hope my kids are paying attention, but I can honestly say I wasn’t expecting what came next. I could see the wheels turning in Brooklyn’s little mind. And all the sudden her eyes lit up and she got up and grabbed her brand new sucker we'd bought from the drugstore, and put it in her backpack. I was a little confused because at first it seemed so random. But when it comes to kids, even though we don't always expect it- there's always something brewing under the surface. When I asked her what she was doing... she told me she was brainstorming how she could bless those kids who had picked on her & her sister. She wasn't thinking about doing the minimum to just not be mad. She took it to the next level and thought about what would actually create change for that person. She would bless the person who was hurting her, with their healing in mind. She actually wanted to bless her neighbor as HERSELF. She took that verse more seriously than most adults. I was in absolute tears! And humbled.
The next day she gave that sucker away, and the next day helped her sister find stickers to give to a different kid who had hurt her feelings. She not only did this for herself, but she led her sister to do the right thing too. (And I must say... that's a big deal. Kaia is one stubborn kid!) How pure and beautiful are the examples of children? I was so caught off guard at how freely they gave. Without even flinching they turned around and gave love. It got me thinking... when was the last time I did something to bless the people in my life that have upset me? Frustrated me? Let me down? It was so easy for them to obey God in that moment, and trust His love, but why had it taken so long for me to get this?
God has had to remind me over and over again that when I signed up to be His, I signed over my rights. That means I no longer have rights to my selfishness, or feelings of justification when it comes to holding grudges. Leviticus 19:18 (Voice) says:
"18 Do not seek revenge or hold a grudge against any of your people. Instead, love your neighbor as you love yourself,[a] for I am the Eternal One.
Was it fair or right what they did? No. Should they have been kinder, done something differently? Yes. But God is saying to us today, other people's wrongs are none of your business. What they think of you is none of your business. What is your business? Doing all you can to love others, even if they wronged you. You can't control others. But you can 100% decide what kind of person you want to be.
When God asks us to follow Him, He promises that HE will settle scores. All we need to do is emulate Him and worry about our own actions. To love others the same way He loved us: purely unconditional, forgiving ALL offenses, patient, un-selfish & humble. To give them something that COSTS us... the same way my kids gave something so special to them: forgiveness, candy, stickers, & love. It's so simple, but so profound. And if we can do this, we might just change the world.
XO- Natalie
