Never learned how to pray? Start here.

One of the things I hear a lot from people is that they know they're "supposed to" pray and read their Bible... but they have no idea where to start. Even people who have been Christians for a long time have confessed to me that they don't pray outside of church because...well, no one's ever shown them. Today I want to just take a minute to de-mystify it for you. You can walk away from this post TODAY and have some handles to start talking with and hearing from God. It's not as scary (or as formal) as you think. And can I just say... if you opened this, I'm proud of you for taking the time to learn! It's never too late to start. You'll be so glad you did! (We'll tackle how to read the Bible in another post).

Luckily, Jesus himself gave us an outline and it's recorded in scripture! It's in Matthew 6, beginning in verse 5.

I'm going to do my best to "translate it" into modern verbiage that will make it clear for us today. So let's tackle it point by point.

1. Go somewhere where you can be alone to talk to God. (Vs. 5&6)

Matthew 6:5-15 ⁵ ““When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get. 6 But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you."

To be alone with God, I like to go to the park, for a walk, or even get up early when everyone else is asleep so that I can talk to God honestly.

That's what He wants... to have a one on one, heart to heart time with you. He's not asking for a scene for others to see, but for you to honestly seek Him. You shouldn't be out to impress other people- just the opposite. Seek time with God because you're really interested in knowing Him.

2. Don't worry about having all the right things to say. None of that matters. Just approach it like you're talking to a great father. (Vs. 7-8)

 ⁷ “When you pray, don’t babble on and on as the Gentiles do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again. ⁸ Don’t be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!" ⁹ “Pray like this: Our Father in heaven,
may your name be kept holy.

The goal here is not to repeat fancy phrases... The goal of this passage wasn't for you to memorize it and repeat it. It was to give you an idea of how to position your heart as you go into prayer, and to remind you that God wants to simply talk with you.

Just like you'd talk to a good father- have a healthy respect, knowing that He's in charge of you, but also that He loves you and wants what's best for you. You can talk to Him just as if He were sitting next to you.

3. Take a moment to remind yourself that He's got the best perspective, and has a grand plan He's working out (vs. 9-10)

"¹⁰ your kingdom come,
your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

When I was little my mom used to always say "Natalie, whenever we approach God to ask Him for something, always tell yourself: 'if it's God's will, it'll happen.'" If it's not, you can bet He's got something better planned for your situation. Remember, God can answer your prayers better than you can even ask them.

4. Ask for what you need. (vs 11)

^11"Give us today the food we need,"

This might be the easiest part! We all know how to ask other people for help. It's the same with God! We all have things we need help with... small and large...and yet, one of the things people say to me MOST often is that they run out of things to say and ask for after just a few minutes! Why is that? Well- maybe it comes down to being embarrassed to need help, or maybe it feels too small or too big. But, God doesn't put limits on anything (see 1 Peter 5:7)! Just ask- what have you got to lose? He wants to be part of every area of your life.

Look, don't beat yourself up if it's hard at first. All relationships take time. One of the things that helps me stay on track is to write down the people I love and pray for them. Then I write down all the things that are stressing me out- whether it be financial, relational, social, issues in the world, etc... and then I pray about them one by one.

If it's on your heart, ask God for His help with it. If you're not praying for that situation, who else will? Who better than you to pray for what's on your heart? There's a good chance God put the concern in your heart so you'll be a part of the solution.

5. Ask for forgiveness, then take a moment to reflect/give forgiveness... is there anyone you're still holding a grudge against? (vs. 12-15)

^12 "and forgive us our sins,
as we have forgiven those who sin against us.
13 And don’t let us yield to temptation,[b]
but rescue us from the evil one.¹⁴ If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. ¹⁵ But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins."

Let God help you clear the junk out of your heart. Unforgiveness is too heavy to take into the rest of your life. The truth is, sometimes it's easy to sit and point the finger and the blame at one person. But the moment we do that, we fall into an attitude of pride- (yikes). Have you made a mistake? Have you hurt others either intentionally or not? Very, very likely. How did you want to be dealt with in that moment? Deal with others graciously, knowing you also make mistakes.

Forgive and let it go. Your purpose is too important to be colored and weighted down by someone else's issues. Get yourself right first, and then you can move forward.

6. Let Him know what you're grateful for.

This one isn't necessarily listed in this passage, although some translations do outline a section for praising God for all He's done. In other words... expressing your gratitude to Him! Every parent hopes that their kids will eventually see all the good they've done for them and be grateful for it. Not because we need the praise, but because it means they finally understand how loved they are! When we realized how truly loved and supported we are by someone, the depth of trust and love can only grow.

One way I like to do this is to write down five, yes FIVE (new) things I am grateful for each and every day. It can be as simple as the sun on my face, to the car I drive, to having a good friend. The Bible says all good and perfects gifts come from above (James 1:17), so why wouldn't we take time to thank God for being so kind to us? He deserves it!

Having a thankful heart puts everything in to perspective for me. Practicing gratitude is the FASTEST way to have peace. Why? Because it reminds us that we have options. We can see all the negative; but will we see choose to also see the good? We can dig up goodness like vegetables, gold, or minerals... and all of it is surrounded by mud. Will you focus on the mud or the treasure? It's our choice. What we focus on will guide the entire direction of our lives.

7. Take time to ask Him questions, and listen for answers.

God wants to share His wisdom with you (See James 1 & 2) and when we ask, He doesn't hold back! But it will take time for us to stop long enough to get quiet and learn to hear His voice. Most people don't hear God audibly, but will have a sudden thought with some sort of directive, or a "knowing" in their heart they didn't have before. Some people see pictures when they close their eyes. Sometimes He'll answer through a friend, or through a passage in scripture. There are many ways God speaks, we just need to give Him the space and have a heart that's willing to hear. If you're uncertain if it's God, check everything to make sure it lines up with God's word. He'll never tell you to sin or to go against His nature.

Keep an eye out for the next post where we'll break down all about how to hear God's voice a bit more.

I hope this helps + know that I'm praying for you!

XO- Natalie