If you're thinking about quitting... try this first.

Honor your small beginnings.

I like to consider myself a gardener. Albeit, a very amateur one. It's been a slow road for me. I didn't find it intuitive like some. For years I talked about wanting to grow my own produce. I'd watch gardening shows and be mesmerized by their harvests. During the pandemic, I found that I had a lot of extra time working from home, and so I started small with some tomatoes and a strawberry plant a friend had gifted me for my birthday. I had dreams of all the amazing soups, sauces and jams I was about to make at the end of the season.

But... it was not to be. It was a pitiful and kind of embarrassing situation. After months of watering I grew zero fruit, with the exception of ONE TINY strawberry. It was the size of a marble.

I thought maybe it was a problem with the potting. So, since I live in California and there is no "end" to the producing season, I decided to try to and revive them. I went out and bought new planters and put lots of good soil in them. I tried to increase my chances by trying new seeds like lettuce, green beans and carrots and bought a little blackberry starter branch to plant in the ground.

I had a little bit of success... things grew up. But again... minimal fruit. More than than marble sized berry... but still embarrassing and frustrating for the amount of time put in. In the ENTIRE season, I grew a handfull of cherry tomatoes, seven stumpy carrots and six green beans. Pests had consumed a good portion of the early seedlings and fruit, and the rest succumbed to disease. Months of work, and not even enough for a meal for ONE person was produced. (Notice... not a single blackberry?)

Commit with intention.

I was about to quit. I had declared myself a "black thumb." But just as I went on to pout about it, I felt the Lord say... "Try again, Natalie. But this time, study your plant. Make a plan for watering. Give it the right food. Get after the weeds + the pests proactively."

It was about this same time that I was going through somewhat of a personal upheaval. I didn't just believe I had a "black thumb" with vegetables. I actually believed in my heart... that wherever I go, things get worse. For years I'd been repeating to myself that "I'm broken. Wherever I go, things die." There's a lot to go into about where those ideas came from that we don't have time for in this blog. Suffice it to say... just like the gardening, it came from early failures and mistakes, rejections, ignorance to the pitfalls and a lack of focus and planning.

At the same time God was speaking to me about not quitting in my garden, He was telling me not to quit on myself.

In my career, my marriage, my parenting, my ministry. In just about every area, God was asking me to try again but this time not haphazardly... but with intention. This verse became my anthem:

Galatians 6:4-5 (MSG)
"Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life."

Identify your potential,+ eliminate your pitfalls.

I began to realize that God created me (and you!) with the intention to produce good fruit. We were created to grow and reproduce beautiful things. We weren't born as "black thumbs" or "broken." We've all been created with a purpose to fulfill, no one exempt. He didn't put us here with some cruel intention to watch us suffer, toil and never see good fruit. He gives us to the tools and the ingredients to create whatever kind of life we desire....

But... the tending can't be ignored. As I was working in the soil one day, I was reminded of a passage in Luke 8:4-18. Here's what it says:

5 “A sower went out to sow his seed. And as he sowed, some fell along the path and was trampled underfoot, and the birds of the air devoured it. 6 And some fell on the rock, and as it grew up, it withered away, because it had no moisture. 7 And some fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up with it and choked it. 8 And some fell into good soil and grew and yielded a hundredfold.” 

... 11 The seed is the word of God. 12 The ones along the path are those who have heard; then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. 13 And the ones on the rock are those who, when they hear the word, receive it with joy. But these have no root; they believe for a while, and in time of testing fall away. 14 And as for what fell among the thorns, they are those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by the cares and riches and pleasures of life, and their fruit does not mature. 15 As for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience.

That next season, I made it my goal to:

1) Be positive about the potential. I actually woke up and spoke positively to myself and to my plants. I repeated words that I was created to make good things.

2) Add intentional nourishment. In my garden I started adding vitamins and growth additives- I replaced old soil with new fresh soil. In my soul. I read twice as much and began listening to positive. I ate good things and began moving my body.

3) Be diligent about the "life suckers." In my garden I began to remove weeds, prune off old and dying leaves/branches, and I went "hunting" for pests at night... I even took my flashlight and pulled caterpillars off each leaf. I started to do the same in my soul. Removed old limiting beliefs. I stopped looking at discouraging material. I watched how much time and access I gave to people who only took from me and never gave.

I got a lot more growth. I got about 20 tomatoes that year and an early crop of (bitter) blackberries. The year after that, it tripled. The tomato plant finally gave me enough to pick a few each day for my salad AND to make one round of salsa and pasta sauce!

Keep failing forward.

I've come a long way, but I'm not quite a master gardener YET. Even though I've gotten a lot better, I'm still not to the point where I'm producing "overflowing extras." I'm still dialing it in. I still feel like quitting some days. And if I'm being transparent, a lot of times, it feels like the effort isn't worth the result. But I'm learning... that these early years of learning and failing are all part of the process. They're still valuable because they're building a foundation for the long run. Every year I learn something new. I find out what works and what doesn't. None of it is a loss, because I know the next year it'll be even better.

“Trying again” isn't a process limited to beginners. It's for all of us, in every stage.

Whether amateur, experienced or expert... trying again is an ongoing endeavor. But with each new try, you grow wiser and better and even if you find yourself moving on from one kind of plant, you've at least found out what works and what doesn't work in your garden. Win, win, win.

Galatians 6:9 (NIV) "So, let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

That tomato plant has now reproduced itself 3 years in a row without me doing a single thing. The blackberry bush is producing berries that taste like popsicles they're so sweet. My planter is overflowing with carrots, cucumbers and broccolini. We've since planted 2 avocado trees (one died, one lived + produced), a pomegranate tree (after two seasons I figured out how to self-pollinate and I got 2). We revived our orange trees + planted a cherimoya (tree which I am still figuring out). All along the way, we're finding a rhythm.

Friends, if you’re on the edge of giving up today, I want to encourage you not to quit. Don't despise the days of small beginnings; let them teach you and grow you. Fail forward, whether it be adding more “nourishment,” removing weeds/thorns/energy suckers, or changing out the soil entirely. Try one more time and see what the Lord will do. Don't quit when it gets hard, get intentional. Before you know it, you'll reap a harvest.

XO,

Natalie